since u been gone
i've been nowhere
which is in the manawatū
in the ass end of a suzuki swift /
i've been a star unescorted
holding up the sky's traffic
i think i saw my manaakitanga
in the bin
it shines through the shit /
i've been getting fat thru solar
eating feijoa primitive
at the kitchen sink
taking the piss
taking an autism test /
i've been saying
matariki is when the dead
alight their waka and go offgrid &
it helps if you witchhazel
after showering &
it helps if you don't shower
at all, gives the minerals time
to make themselves at home /
i've been in the ice plunge
while an italian woman sings
pōkarekare ana into the well /
i've been to the māori gardens
to see myself fertilised and big
like hard data made of muslin
i've been saying
show me a seed that isn't sick
show me where the steroids are /
i've been asking for a light
that goes hard techno thru the punga
and a dream that lands before the siren
before i remember i know the lyrics /
i've been to the beach voted best
in these whole islands and i've
said
toitū te rā e whiti ana
toitū each sandfly i kill
live on /
i've been looking at the hometown
i'm not grateful for, except that
it gave me something to outgrow /
i've been so inhospitable they
put me in hospital, i was saying aunty
please tell me a story
the one about the taniwha that set upon
the foreshore and seabed activists
but just the pākehā ones
how they went swimming in
the wāhi tapu with their ikura
how they started digging holes in the garden
trying to find the darkest place
and in the end they got better
and wrote phds
and went to aoraki
which is all any of us can do
really, take it to the mountains /
i've been really getting in the spirit
like shaving my pits at the red light
outside eastgate where there's a man down /
i've been walking in cashmere
in the sky there is a wildfire the size
of dreaming in somebody else's native language
a man slows down his cherry sports car
and i've been running, holding my tit
with one hand and
a bag of dog shit
in the other /
i've been to methven thinking
new years eve ain't no tau hou
but those mountains are
coming to get me &
i think rihanna will
live on forever /
i've been at the yacht club
saying skux boy come vape wit me /
i've been at the supermarket
buying kiwifruit shots /
i've been watching the
next generation of us
eating pancetta and
going to idaho /
i've been everywhere
so much that when i walk backwards
into the future, i can say
those years were a fog
i'm lifting the tarpaulin now
there was that dealer
whose name was mum
there was me
yogic breathing through
a heart attack
wondering
what did the gas station take me for /
i've been paying my respects
which was exactly ninety bucks
i've been offering up
pics of me pissing with a drip tube
in the cubicle /
i've been on the dark grass
asking and asking again /
i've been holding on
for dear life
i've been scared
all the way to dead /
i've been walking mystic
by the light of the moon
saying
last refuge, still king
start more, divine purpose
take me there
where the sky fell
go lyrically
i've been saying
i've buried you again in every place i've been
i've buried you again in every place i've been.
