I blow my body around like          the huge clump of brown hair

that I once saw blowing up Cuba Street

     I follow its movements with interest

     I put a video of it on the internet

 

     my favourite brag

is that a groundskeeper once told me I was the whole package—

good bants good body he said

     he also said I was a piece of ass     and then apologised immediately—

said he’d never called anyone that before     put his head in his hands

 

     I use up my body like bait     I keep my body in a bucket

     I keep a bucket by my bed

     once after boning a drug dealer     the drug dealer asked me

to read him a bedtime story          I read him the whole of The Velveteen Rabbit

then he thanked me kindly and went to sleep

 

     I remember everything—

it’s one of my bad habits

 

     I remember a nurse once tried to convert me

to Christianity in a hospital bathroom

just after I’d done a shit........................job     of trying to kill myself

     at first I misheard her          I thought she said the thing that saved her life

was finding gold          I laughed and laughed in her arms

then I stopped and said     wait

 

     I’m much better at suicide jokes than I am at dying

and I’m not even that good at suicide jokes     so I may be immortal

     my jokes are very cheap     just like me

but I can’t help it—I’m on the benefit—the sickness benefit

     my sense of humour is in itself   a sickness benefit         it is my right

 

     I suppose I’m a new bigot     in that I spread hate—

but the hate that I spread is bespoke—

it’s artisanal baby          bad poetry is my small business

with the brand statement : a little self-loathing goes a long way : like

don’t go for a jog          do not do     a face mask          don’t take a bath

 

     I put my body in a bath once

     I sat in the bath and ate a bag of Twisties

     the Twisties were orange     which is normal for Twisties

     the bathwater was also orange     which is not normal for bathwater

but I had used an orange bath bomb     which was a way of pushing the boat out

     my body is a boat     no

     my body is a car in the sea with a drowned thing inside

and they talk about bodies of water

and they talk about the body of a car

     my body is a car in the sea with a drowned thing inside

     my body’s in a body and a body’s in me

     do I need to say it....................turducken

     no     I did not need to say it

     my body is a car with a drowned thing inside

pulled up and away from the sucking sea floor by a crane

     my body is unswallowed and dangling above the water

dripping orange drips

 

     I remember everything

but my body always tells it wrong

which is a terrible betrayal :

the nurse said I was lying when I said she had tried

to sell god to me in the bathroom

     I wasn’t

but my body was too tired to convince anyone